the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
