i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize