I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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