Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
