He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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