The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
