Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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