i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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