Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
