my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.