My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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