hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
