im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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