I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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