and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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