oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
