apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
