If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I wish my penis had an off switch
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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