i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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