bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
