Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
