She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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