U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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