I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
