please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
