A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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