so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
