It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Walk of Shame today included voting.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
