I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
