You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
