i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize