One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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