u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
