Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize