I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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