cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
