Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
