Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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