I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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