I must be too annoying 4 u.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
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Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
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