i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
