i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
