I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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