susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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