508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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