I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
