Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
