omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
