ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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