3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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