it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
