dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
