"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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