they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize