she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
