I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
