I wannas sexs uuuuu
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
