we're blogging at a bar
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Everything about him screamed your future.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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