his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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