Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
