These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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