$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
