But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize