ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i believe in u and ur pee
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
